How to be kind to yourself is a familiar but confusing topic.
In today’s fast-moving era, there are inevitable setbacks in the adult world: work pressure, breakups, confusion, emptiness, loneliness…
Faced with these difficulties, more and more people are beginning to emphasize the importance of being kind to yourself when you make a mistake and when depressed.
In life, when friends and family see you in a bad mood, they will tell you to be kind to yourself. You also know the importance of being kind to yourself.
But, what is really being kind to yourself? What should you do?
After reading this post, you will understand why being kind to yourself is important and how to be kind to yourself.
How To Be Kind To Yourself
1. Don’t indulge yourself too much
For many people, being kind to yourself is indulgent. They would rather lie in bed all day and do nothing.
Although lying in bed is very comfortable, it is difficult for people to gain real rest. Often, they still feel exhausted when they wake up again.
Rest is necessary, but blindly indulgence does not really relax us.
Only by listening carefully to what the body really needs can we take care of ourselves.
2. Being kind to yourself does not necessarily require a perfect checklist
Some people think that being kind to yourself requires careful planning and arrangement; otherwise, they do not live with their heart.
Although they are really trying hard to enjoy life, these people can’t actually experience the feeling of enjoyment. They just finish every task on the checklist.
They can’t get effective relaxation between work, and they are always on the road and still feel very tired.
In fact, being kind to yourself can happen in every detail of daily life.
Suppose all the tasks you enjoy are entrusted to the vacation to achieve. In that case, the vacation will be very exhausting, and how painful and boring other daily life is.
3. Properly retain free time.
Many people can’t bear to be inefficient, without gain and growth for some time. Having free time will make them feel that a period of their life has been wasted, and this feeling will make them anxious.
They use almost every second of their time and only allow themselves to relax when they are exhausted.
However, because the leisure itself is forced, they often feel guilty while resting; they even think about work.
Time is indeed precious, and personal growth is also significant. However, truly cherishing time and cherishing life does not mean that we have to fill every bit of time.
Appropriately leave a period of free time. Although it may seem useless at the moment, it will help us go further in the long run, and it will also make us happier when we are on the road to the distance.
4. Recognize the right of being kind to yourself
In many cases, “being kind to yourself” or “enjoyment” is somewhat stigmatized. People often think of negative scenes such as “delicious and lazy” and “indulgence” when people hear these words.
In modern society, we are often too busy, and “being kind to yourself” is often regarded as insufficiently active and a waste of time.
If you want to be kind to yourself, the first step is to let go of your prejudices about it.
In fact, being kind to yourself is very important.
What are the benefits of being kind to yourself?
It can stimulate your positive emotions, reduce your negative emotions, and enable you to regain strength and continue to face the challenges encountered in life and work.
So, the process of being kind to yourself is to take care of and comfort your inner child who is extremely tired in real life.
When you let go of utilitarianism and do not expect what feedback this period can bring you, you may get some more fundamental but hidden gains.
5. Set goals in advance
Many people do not dare to press their hearts to enjoy it because they are afraid of being kind to themself, and what they are terrified of is losing control.
They worry that their desire will be like a beast out of the cage once they start it, and they will ultimately lose control.
Therefore, when they are kind to themselves, they are also cautious and dare not really “let go,” their nerves are tense. They can’t feel happy or relaxed.
You can overcome this by setting goals and restrictions in advance.
For example, plan a period dedicated to enjoying life, and tell yourself:
“Sunday afternoon is the time I voluntarily planned to take a break, not because I was too tired to be forced to take a break.”
This change in motivation can instantly change your mindset and help you face enjoyment more actively.
Not only that, after setting appropriate limits, you can also feel safe when you enjoy yourself.
Because once you limit the length of enjoyment, you can relax, entertain or rest immersively during this time, without worrying about the whole night passing.
You will feel that you are not giving up life but enjoying life in a planned way.
In this state, you will greatly reduce the sense of loss of control.
6. Feel your true needs
Many times, we are thinking about our needs with our brains, but we often misunderstand our needs.
In fact, as long as you are willing to calm down, the body will “tell” you what it feels happy when it does and what it feels terrible afterward.
Before you are not used to listening to the body, you need to consciously remind yourself to check your body’s feelings several times.
After that, you will become more sensitive to changes in the body and detect the feedback it gives us in time.
7. Meet your own needs
As mentioned earlier, being kind to yourself is not about overeating, nor about playing games all day, but about giving yourself what you really need at the right time.
When you are aware of the body’s real needs, you can respond to the needs and supply the body in the next step.
For example, you can say to yourself: “I should be hungry now, then eat something I really want to eat.”
“I should be tired now rather than sleepy, so I don’t go to sleep, just sit in silence or listen to music for a while and let it go.”
8. Try a variety of activities
Because various entertainment items have surrounded us for a long time, we may have formed a fixed way in our minds and body.
For example, many people think that eating a big meal when tired or playing games for a while will definitely relax. They don’t care whether their current body can afford it. Doing so consumes them even more. So, it is difficult for us to realize what we really need at the beginning.
Therefore, we encourage you to try more activities, such as walking, yoga, meditation, games, movies, socializing, and so on.
Listen to your inner voice with an open mind.
By trying a lot of activities and get more familiar with your true feelings, you can gradually understand yourself and provide yourself with the best care.
9. Focus on the good things
The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.
Many times, we think of being kind to yourself too ambitiously. It actually exists in every repetitive and ordinary daily detail.
What kind of tree is in front of the window?
What is the shape of the petals on the roadside?
What is the taste of the coffee in your hand?
How does it feel to read the beautiful words in the book?
As we become accustomed to focusing on the good things, we can also feel less and less energy and time distracting from anxiety events.
The threshold of enjoyment is not so high. No matter what our current status and situation, we may find an opportunity to enjoy life. We can realize it every day in our lives.
In this world full of pressure, efficiency, and all kinds of incentives, people seldom learn to “being kind to yourself,” and it is difficult to appreciate the beauty of these “useless things.” But I firmly believe that these are necessary. After all, life is limited, and we still want to live it more abundantly and lively.
This post was all about how to be kind to yourself.